Twenty Times

I rewrote this 20 times tonight,
Trying to get the feeling right.
Every draft's a different side of truth,
But they all come back to you.
Deleted, started over, went insane.
But the message stays the same,
No matter how I rearrange the lines I wrote this 20 times.
Should I add a joke or keep it real?
Emojis make it less intense.
Read it over sounds too calm, and now it makes no sense.