It Was Survival (Slowed)

I just needed one damn moment where I could quiet my heart.
They see glasses, they see smoke,
They don't see the weight I hold.
It wasn't a game, it wasn't a show.
I wasn't trying to drag myself below; it felt like help.
At least back then,
Just something to slow what I keep within.
It wasn't a night out; it was survival,
Just trying to last a little while.
I learned young how to hide the pain,